12-07-2008

John: 3:11 p.m.

i dropped my router last night from literally 1 foot off the ground

and it stopped working

so i put on my shoes and stomped on it

until it was in a million pieces

John As A 5 Year Old

I Have No Idea When This Was...

9/26/08

John

haahahahha

in middle school i talked to this girl from spencer and i would always make her go on webcam

and literally

every 3 or 4 sentences i said to her

were something about her taking her clothes off

for a year straight

and i never met her

12:50pmEthan

hahahaha

12:50pmJohn

and at one point she said

"fucking come see me tomorrow and ill suck your dick"

and i didnt go........

thats an example of me being a homo

9/24/08

4:56amJohn

my psych class is the hardest class ive ever taken

and one of the hardest classes at isu according to my adviser and the teacher

but i learn the most interesting shit

its like mrs kleen blowing all her knowledge into my dick while mrs kuker shits all her knowledge into my mouth

times 8

8-26-08

hahahaha

im going to smash my ca's door in

and rape her

and then kill her

and leave iowa state forever

2:12amEthan

hahahaha

2:12amJohn

ill just put a note that says tizzy did it on her forehead

2:12amEthan

hahahah

2:12amJohn

i thought i pissed all over my floor last night

but really it was just the sewer leaking all over

2:13amEthan

gaaay

2:13amJohn

ahaaha

oh well

im going to get drunk as fuck eventually and sleep in my hallway

just so when the fucking people get here in the morning i can be like yeah thanks for waiting my room smells so bad i had no where to sleep

god DAMNIT

im living with justin jenson

Ethan

live in the back of his truck?

2:14amJohn

yeah and when he goes to polaris im just fucked

ill sleep in his denali that is full of cum

because im sure all he does is smokes cigarettes nonstop in it while rubbing his dick on the seats

8-25-08 pt. 2

This was sober, btw.

Ethan

brb

1:02amJohn

brb like ethans trying to pee

like hes an og

sitting on the toilet going number 1

and thats kind of fucking dumb

because real niggas stand up when they go

but ethan aint no fuckin ho

hes just smoked way too much dro

the last week hes been tweakin

while bitches been freakin

ive seen atleast 5 girls cry

and those hoes really obviously wanted to die

because they were obviously tryin

to jump my dick

because its straight legit

except i zipped it up

and that hurt like fuck

like im in the muck

like the swamp of sorrows

like tegans vagina

i wasnt tryin to do time in ya

but i did

it was worse than jail

i tried to bail

but did ethan vale?

eventually yes

but he should have gotten two for the chest

because he failed the test

except he didnt but all the rest

did because they are fuckin kids

like krissy kidd

fuck it i give up

1:08amJohn

that better be on your fuckin blogspot

because im dropping lines

and my rhymes so sick wit it

like im trying to rig it

like the vote for whos the king of hip hop

and its skrott

scott klien and krissy kidds nicknames

fuck

i need to just stop rapping

but i cant

5-25-08

John

AHHAAHHA holy shit

i was a second away from writing

"im talking to this fat girl that sucked carls dick"

12:49amEthan

hahahahahha

12:49amJohn

and i accidentally almost wrote it to her instead of you

12:49amEthan

hahahahhahahah

12:49amJohn

i was about to hit enter and then i realized what i was doing

tizzy and grant came up the beginning of last year

and they went to a class with me

and talked to everyone

and some random halfway ugly girl actually gave them her number

and she came over and we all got fucked up

and she blew carl while we were all still drinking

12:51amEthan

hahaha

12:52amJohn

and then tizzy and grant both threw up all over my room

but the next day tizzy went to class with me in a huge lecture hall

and we were talking about cocaine for some reason

and tizzy yelled FUCK YEAH THATS MY SHIT

and everyone laughed including the teacher

and then he yelled ahhahahaa

YEAH NIGGA

and there was 3 black people behind us

and then he just turned red and whispered oh fuck i didnt mean that to me

and we left my class after that

hes still my hero

8-24-08

i just destroyed the lock to my bathroom

4:38pmEthan

hahahahha

how

4:38pmJohn

i live in a place where i share a bathroom with someone

and that motherfucker locked it and left

and for some reason my key doesnt open it so thats awesome

and my ca was gone

so i just put a screwdriver in the hole and kicked it in

cheap shitty lock

Introduction

This is a blog I created because half of the time when I talk to John Huseman on Facebook, I end up laughing out loud forty times. Hopefully other people will find this as humorous as much as I do. Enjoy.